The story with Percha highlights for me the transformative power of patience, trust and persistence…The process is still on going and day by day I get new inspiration and things to share. Lots happened in the past for which the series started but it's like a river which flows with incredible speed. I will then, from the next blog onward, mix past and present events... For now, enjoy few more reflections and steps of the very beginning with Percha, the master horse who taught me real horsemanship.
Healing Together:
Resting and doing very little were crucial for both me and Percha. After the head injury, I was unaware of how much I had changed. Percha, too, was about to experience a significant transformation, which would change him forever. Transformation always go through pain and struggles, otherwise we will not have a reason to change. Of course I did not know that at that time, I discovered years later…Along those years I hated my brain injury, I did not feel the same anymore, in the good and in the bad. It felt to me that I did not fit anymore to the life I had so far and to the way everyone around me was living. It was COVID time, and that was for me a great time, I was having a very slow pace, most of the time I was alone, and the only being I was interacting was that horse. With him everything made sense. From that moment on, for some reasons, I always felt exactly how he was feeling, I could just feel in my body, I cannot really explain. I started to feel much more in a way I never did before. Everything changed perception. It was an incredible and terrible experience at the same time. Two years later I started some emotional coaching with horses, after reading the book of Linda Kohanov, the Tau of Equus. That book had all my answers, I was not crazy, what was happening to me and with Percha was real. But I needed to know more about it, so I started my coaching journey with the Eponaequest program. A life changing experience.
Building Trust:
The key in all the process was only one: TRUST. At today, I still find this word the key for eveything I achieve with him and in my life. When training Percha, I had no judgements, there was no goal, I only wanted to show him I was there FOR him and not to do something TO him. It’s easy to say than doing it. When you face such strong reactions from a 500kg creature that uses all his brutal force against you, it’s hard to stay calm and do the right thing at the right time. These moments happens in a very quick and short time, and if you get caught into those panic you have no chance to help that fearful creature…Interesting to see for me was that my brain injury caused me lots of problems but helped me to slow down everything inside myself. Those moments were becoming slower for me and the more steady and grounded and centered I was the more Percha was learning to trust. Along this process, I cannot count how many times I missed the right time, how many times I got into this fast reaction and I ended up with a turned finger, a stretched shoulder, a bruised foot, etc… Every single of those times, I knew where I made the mistake, so I started over again. Percha would challenge me a lot, sometimes I was mentally very exhausted to keep up the session to get till the moment where he would accept it. And there I learned to do less and less, stop at the subtle response, reward and start again the day after. There the sentence of Parelli resonated inside myself very loud: “I was going slower to go faster”.
Patience and Persistence:
Letting go of the desire for immediate results and existing in the present moment became my "gym", training myself to remain calm and patient, which ultimately helped Percha to respond positively and not feel any pressure. I cannot explain the profound feeling running inside me when he would spontaneously choosing to stand close to me, shoulder to shoulder, or when he would start to lick and chew or do a deep breath out after a groom or following a specific cue with a specific pressure or after facing a crisis.
Introducing Training:
As trust was built, I introduced training tools and techniques, focusing on getting Percha to think through pressures, both physical and mental. Creativity and adaptability were crucial. I used various strategies to reset Percha's flight response and stimulate his curiosity and parasympathetic nervous system. Small spaces and the use of a rope were helpful, providing a controlled environment where Percha could learn without feeling overwhelmed. The main point for me was to be able to let him stay and explore “that thing” I was presenting to him, understanding that nothing was going to hurt him and he would not die. Overthinking or overwhelming is a state where learning is not happening, in order for him to learn I needed to wait that the flight response was released, no matter how long it would take.
Progress and Breakthroughs:
Over months, I observed Percha starting to change. He began seeking contact and showing curiosity, he was calmer in our routine and my timing got better and better. Continued patience and consistent exposure to different stimuli helped Percha become more confident and me a better trainer. I always celebrated small things, they were our achievements together, which for other horses were simply normal things…Not for us though, so I got lost into this world where nothing was for granted, where everything needed work and preparation. Eventually, Percha began to enjoy grooming and brushing, releasing tension from his body and feeling more at ease, he would trust me more just being there, and with several months he trust our routine and work together. There were great days, and days where we would go back, and along this wave of ups and downs, we actually moved forward. We became partners in some sense, our way of interacting became pretty unique, we could sense each other, we were facing crisis, small or big, celebrating at the end that we (both) survived and became stronger.
Mutual Growth:
Witnessing Percha overcome his fears and start to play with me in liberty brought immense joy and inspiration. I was unsure how far I could train him, but I knew I was unlocking his potential and giving him a second chance in life. After several months I started to see the “real” Percha, the one hidden behind that thick shield of fear, and that horse was simply astonishing. This process was very intense for me, nothing else mattered anymore at that time, my thoughts and my energy were always with him. I was spending hours with him, at home I was studying videos of big master horseman and reading about re-train from traumas. I was so into it, that I often dreamed about him and all the time in my dreams he was talking and we were having conversations. It sounds creepy, I know, but believe me, many of the situations in my dreams, months later were actually happening. The way of interacting with him in the dreams was very bizarre, but I found a lot of similarities in the stories of Linda Kohanov in the Tau of Equus.
Reflection:
My journey with Percha is, for me, a testament to the power of patience, persistence, and love. By consistently showing up, being present, and adapting to his needs, I transformed a fearful horse into my companion. This process not only healed Percha but also brought profound growth and fulfillment to my own life. As he healed, so did I. The more he changed the better trainer I became. I could then interacting very subtly with other horses, which felt much more easier and accessable to me.
The bond I have formed with Percha is a beautiful example of the deep connection that can be achieved through understanding. Let’s be clear: I did not have as trainer, the experience to train such a difficult horse (I still don’t), but the relationship we built over those months was so strong that allowed me to achieve the impossible, and still does.
After eight months of groundwork training, we finally reached the point where he would accept me on top of him and I could saddle up. I thought I might never experience the sensation of him under me, but it happened. And the feeling? It was truly special. It’s impossible until it’s done, they said.
But this story will come in the next blog… Stay tuned!
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